Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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