Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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