Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
