Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
