Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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