she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
