She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize