Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
pray to the hookup gods
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
