Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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