FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
