don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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