Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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