Too much gin, very little bucket
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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