my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
