Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Even my vagina gasped.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
