i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
