At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
