OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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