is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
