I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
