Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am available for nakedness
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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