i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
