So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
