He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
