i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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