Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
