So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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