Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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