ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
