you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
