okay pat passed out under dana's car
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
