return my video game
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My underwear smells like fireworks.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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