My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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