ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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