Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This house was built for laser tag.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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