By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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