Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
