nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he puts the penis in happiness.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
