Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We need to get me chipped asap
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
