Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
