So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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