...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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