my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
