I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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