The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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