Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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