wakey wakey hands off snakey
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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