Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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