all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
