I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
