Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
