So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
