Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want 2 things right now, you or a cig

(810): View more from Michigan

cig

Fav 4 1078 1695
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(212): View more from New York

the recession has oofficially hit my standards.

Fav 5 1022 2160
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

Fav 16 1174 4525
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.

Fav 23 6210 951
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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(641): View more from Iowa

is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.

Fav 29 5135 1880
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(661): View more from California

So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

(818): View more from California

I hate you.

Fav 9 5363 1279
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(319): View more from Iowa

You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

Fav 14 1499 3308
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(828): View more from North Carolina

She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.

Fav 3 536 1098
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....

Fav 1 336 207
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