it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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