Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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