So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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