Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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