I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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