Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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