i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
