Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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