You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
