And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
