I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me