Already got asked if we're dating
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK