PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.