Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
