We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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