Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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